As some of
you who know me offline might already know, my mother has been suffering from
ill health until recently. This has meant that she used to find it rather
difficult to read for any length of time, a torment for her as she was (and in
fact still is) a true blue bookworm. Recently however, Moms health took a turn
for the better, which has meant she can read again. We are a family who
strongly believes in doing nothing by halves; therefore, when I arrived at our
ancestral home for three weeks, I was greeted by a veritable mountain range of
books on every conceivable surface. A little Mont Blanc had been born on my
desk too ``for you to take back`` Mom explained with a grin. I was not
ungrateful, if a little taken aback by the sheer quantities. This ``geoliterary`` formation was largely
due to some books leant by a family friend. This meant that there were a few in
this number that I would not initially have chosen myself, and I have to admit,
this book was one of them. However, what started out as me casually flipping
through the book that just so happened to be at the top of the pile turned into
me promptly getting glued to the book and finishing it practically in one fell
swoop.
Family and
Friends traces the fortunes of the Dorn family, starting in the years preceding
the Second World War and the period shortly after it. There is Sofia (Sofka)
Dorn, the widowed matriarch who rules and forms her young family with velvet
glove and iron will. Frederick, the debonair darling of the family, a dashing
flirt whose every fault seems to be somehow forgiven. Then there is Alfred, the
younger brother, serious and bookish. Then there are ``the girls`` Mimi and
Betty; Betty is the one with the ``artistic`` temperament while Mimi is a quiet
girl who is happy pleasing her mother. If only they could stay quietly under
Sofka`s wing always – however, life does not quite work like that. Soon they
will need to make choices in life, or they will elect to not make any choices
at all… It is indeed quite amazing what different paths the exact same
beginning can lead to…
Here`s the
strange thing about me and this book. I did not like the characters. In fact a
few of them quite literally annoyed the heck out of me. If I met them in real
life, I would probably end up slapping quite a few. But of course, it is the
fact that the book is extremely well-written that elicits such a reaction from
a reader. And Anita Brockner`s use of language is something else altogether. It
takes a bit of getting used to at first though, as the book is written almost
entirely in the passive tense. But this by no means subtracts from the
vividness of the descriptions, the attention to detail and the beautifully
woven story. Brockner is very apt at analyzing that subtle force, inter-family
politics, and through her, we not only follow the various choices and decisions
of the four Dorn siblings but get a clear view of how Sofka effects each of
them in separate ways and how they are effected by each other, by the rest of
the family, by ``society`` (and the all-important question ``what will people
say``) to arrive at four very separate destinations. And of course this gives
us ample opportunity to reflect on ourselves and our own families. It`s a funny
one, family politics. I am pretty sure we would all like to believe we are
completely immune to it, that we are (or at least we are perfectly capable of,
should we so want) breaking completely free of an ancestral influence and
marching boldly forward, forming our own fate. But more often than not, the
strands of fate are woven with more strings from the family bow than we may
care to accept. If we have not adopted some subtle way of thinking or acting
based on those around us, we probably have taken to doing the mirror opposite
of what our family did, as a reaction. It can affect anything from the way we
speak, the way we dress, the food we eat, our political convictions… And of
course more subtle things, like the way we interact with others, the way we
view ourselves… At the very least, our family and our past are present in us with
their absence, in the way we are trying desperately not to be like ``them``.
The other
thing Family and Friends points out is that the family is no `monolith`. It may
sometimes (especially at occasions such as Christmas dinners, at that point
just after the traditional almighty row) feel as if it is unchanging and will
stay like this for ever and ever, but people are constantly changing and the
balances constantly shifting, sometimes subtly, sometimes in the shape of great
tempests.
I can
guarantee you will find something of yourself, something familiar in this book,
no matter what your relationship with your family is. And by the way, don`t you
think it is rather comforting to know that we all suffer the same qualms and
quandaries when it comes to our families?
Good review. I couldn't agree more. The book is strangely disturbing yet extremely gripping.
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