There are a
few facts I need accept. I turned 30 last month – I am officially “no longer a
young person”. Oh sure, 30 is the new 20, you are as old as you feel, it’s just
a number and all that jazz, but let’s face it – to partially quote this very
film – all things being equal, around about a third of my life is over. I think
this is why at “benchmark” years in your life and at events you have a tendency
to look back, take stock and in some cases make a desperate attempt to change
the way things are headed. Or not. I can sympathize enormously with this
feeling – although I am a tad bit too young for a midlife crisis as such yet –
there has been a certain amount of looking back and taking stock going on.
Which is why I HAD to tell you about this film. It speaks so eloquently of
these feelings and their consequences, I felt we simply HAD to take some time
out and talk about it. It comes to us all you know. Some may hide it better
than others but it does come to us all…
Ok, so,
like we said, it is these landmark events and turning points that make you stop
and look back at your life and take stock. For Miles (Paul Giamatti), it is his
best friend Jack’s (Thomas Haden Church) wedding. This is especially poignant
for Miles because following the break-up of his marriage a few years back, he
has been for all intents and purposes, an emotional wreck. The fact that his
dreams of getting his novel finally published – the realisation of which seems
constantly just on the horizon but out of reach – do not help either. In short,
he has hit middle age and feels he has failed. Jack is in a similar predicament
with Miles in many ways, an aspiring actor (though he is currently waiting for
the right project and getting by with voiceovers) he has achieved less than he
would have hoped. However their characters could not be more different; Jack is
confident, outgoing and very much a ladies man. Still, this odd couple have
been friends since university, and it is only natural that Miles is the best
man at the wedding. As a wedding gift, Miles decides to treat Jack to a trip to
wine country in California. Wine is Miles’ hobby and specialty. Jack is naturally
very happy to be there, but he knows little and less about wine. And he has
decidedly different plans about what their priorities should be on the trip…
It doesn’t
take a genius to figure out that what Jack wants more than anything out of this
trip is “one last fling” before he ties the knot. And in so many ways this film
is a gentle, loving comedy about reaching middle age, turning back and asking
oneself “how has it gone so far?” Above all, it is about the very different
ways we can react to the answer we get.
It is
tempting to write off Thomas Haden Church’s Oscar® nominated performance as a
rather typical take on a midlife crises
/ pre-wedding nerves syndrome but the beauty of it is, you can never
quite write him off as a slime ball. You kinda end up feeling sorry for him too. You know, he’s
the “goofy villain” in the film almost and yet you really want him to do
alright. As for Miles, I defy anyone who has had some sort of brush with
depression in their lifetimes (and that would be more of us than you would think
I imagine) not to sympathise with him. Literally the only criticism I’d have of
the film is that it felt the tiniest bit too long for me. But then again, there’s
the difficulty of adapting a book – I guess especially if you’re the director
you would be extremely hard pressed to cut out one section or another that you
particularly liked…
I saw this
film being referred to as a “surprise hit” somewhere. I can’t quite understand
how people failed to see this one coming a mile away. True, it’s a road trip
movie and lately these films have been more associated with young people and
narratives about taking a step into adulthood. But that’s the thing about being
a child or a teenager, right? I mean, how many of us weren’t sure that once we
had “grown up” “everything” would come clear? Yeah, newsflash. Adulthood is not
happily ever after. Luckily however, as Sideways lovingly reminds us, nor is it
the end. There have been many films that remind us that reaching a certain
milestone age (say 40 or 50) is not the end of it all. Sideways shows us an
uncompromisingly realistic view of failure. And how it can potentially be
turned around even if you think you are now, in Miles’s words not mine; “So old
you aren’t even in the game anymore – a pasture animal waiting for the abattoir”.
And one thing we all do, no matter what,
is grow old. I think this is why it’s important to step back from our sometimes
overly competitive lives and remind ourselves that it really is never too late.
That it is ok to fail – even fail big time – sometimes. You may occasionally “laugh
outloud” at this film – I know I did - but you’ll more probably smile at it
lovingly from beginning to end. Because these are things we all really worry
about – even though we may talk about them little and less.
A colleague
at work was mentioning a wedding she worked at ( I work in events these days,
much like Jack I’m waiting for the right project to come along. Hah.) the other
day. This particular colleague is a deal younger than me so I smiled when she
said “The bride was old. Like, maybe 40.” How surprised do you reckon she will
be when 40 creeps up on her and appears at her door? My 40th is a
mere 10 years away and knowing my life it’s going to rush up on me when my back’s
turned. Not that I’m saying this is a bad thing… J
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