WHO SAID YOUTH SUFFERS IN SILENCE? : I KILLED MY MOTHER

I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again. I do not approve of people directing movies then starring the lead in them. There are some exceptions to the rule, but it generally doesn’t work. This film, however, is an exception. Written and directed by 20 year old Xavier Dolan from Quebec, Canada – who also plays the lead – I’ve killed my mother took the Cannes film festival by storm last year… One can’t help but see why. Now, the film is very, VERY far from being easy to watch on a lot of counts. But if you can stomach it to the end, you will have to admire it’s honesty in the way it undertakes its chosen subject. It is, incidentally something we all know a bit about. Basically, it’s about being a teenager.
Hubert is 16 years old. And he hates his mother. His parents are divorced, Hubert lives with his mother and sees very little of his father. School is OK but boring as a general rule. The one truly good thing in his life is his boyfriend Antonin, whom his mother knows absolutely nothing about. Hubert looks around, he analyses and observes. He even tries to take a few steps towards his mother, to get their relationship back to what it used to be when he was young. But they just can’t seem to manage what Antonin and his mother – who are the best of friends – have done. No matter what they try, they seem to descend into bitter shouting matches; will Hubert and his mother push each other too far? Or is there actually some hidden way of reconciliation that the two of them can’t seem to see?
Now, we have all been teenagers. And I’m ready to swear that about % 80 of us have had screaming matches with our parents. Watching Hubert and his mother lay into each other at the smallest provocation is sometimes painful to watch but this is probably because it hits so close to home. Surely remember that period in your life when your Mom and Dad couldn’t do a thing right? They had their noses in everything, they didn’t understand, they limited you, they hated your friends, you hated your parents – or at least that’s what you told them loudly at every possible opportunity. Hubert takes out every single growing pain he has out on the only parent he has in his life : his mother. His mother on the other hand has a tough time taking care of the house and her sick mother and sometimes Hubert is just unbearable. So there is a lot of yelling and not much communication, Hubert, who by the way, has no problem at all about his sexuality, doesn’t even tell his mother that he is gay… And yet… If we say that blood is thicker than water there is a reason for saying that… All through the hate Hubert all but screams from the roof tops, there is a palpable love between mother and son. The affection is always there, they evidently do care about each other very much, they just… Can’t find the way to express this affection. So what’s the way forward? Time? An intervention from Hubert’s father? Talking to Hubert’s school teacher? Sending Hubert to boarding school? You will just have to watch the film and figure it out together with them…